The Mort Game

Far Out Morts

2008-12-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

Hey, I'm back!

Eric was right. Kraven the Hunter was a Spider-Man villian for many years until he committed suicide. He has recently been replaced by a younger female version, although the relationship between the two, if any, has not been explored as of yet.

I have recently purchased "Star Trek: The Complete Collection", with just a ton of Star Trek comic books. Of course, this means I have a whole new resource for Morts. So here are two of my favorites.

So, Trekkies, who are these Morts?

Hunting the Mort

2008-08-04T16:41:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know, Jennifer and I have been talking budget lately and have decided that I need to cut down on the number of comics that I have been purchasing. It is at this point that I realize how much of my identity is wrapped up in being, "the comic book guy" (not the Simpson's character, but just the guy in our little group that knows his comic books really well). With the loss of several titles a month, I have a real dread that I will lose that aspect of my identity. Just as I was feeling at my all time lowest, however, I discovered the Joanna didn't know this guy, who is our newest mort. So my title as THE comic book guy is secure for now (unless, of course, she has studied up since our conversation and can now tell me his identity).

Morti-Colored Kryptonite

2008-07-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

Jericho and Starfire (Kory Anders) are two of the Teen Titans and the namesakes of two of the cutest and most rambunctious cats ever.

Okay, it has been too long since I updated, but that is the by-product of having to turn in my laptop with my resignation letter. Nowadays, I get to surf the 'net only when Jennifer brings her computer from work and doesn't need it for herself. Anyway, I won't be blogging much this summer, so I have to make this one count.

I was reading comics the other day (surprise, surprise) when I came across an add for the new series of "Showcase" action figures. Part of the ad really caught my attention:

I love the gimmick of including other heads to simulate Supes being affected by Red Kryptonite. Truth be told, it got me in a nostalgic mood. I have very happy memories of reading silver age "Red K" Superman stories, where Clark is turned into a giant or an infant or a robot. Red Kryptonite, and Kryptonite in all of its various incarnations, just so perfectly sums up what made me love comics in the first place: that silver age emphasis on just fun escapist story telling where anything could happen, but nothing really changes. Seriously, when was the last time you saw "Superman, Lion-Headed Man of Steel" in a comic book?

Okay, before this devolves to me just complaining about the current state of comic books, the discussion of Kryptonite leads me to our Mort game for today. As the picture below shows, back in the silver age there was a whole rainbow of different types of Kryptonite, each with its own plot-advancing properties. Simple question then: Name the different types of Kryptonite and what each one did.

Speaking of nostalgia, I have often in this blog extolled the virtue of Ambush Bug, one of my all time favorite characters in the DC universe. Because I read a disgusting amount of comic book news websites, I have known for a while that a new Ambush Bug mini series was coming, but I didn't know that it would receive the sort of hype that it has. I literally sqealed with delight, for example, when I saw this house ad in most of my DC comics a few weeks ago:

I have no clue what "unvictorious" means or how it relates to the "plot" of the mini-series, but that picture is just so perfect for the type of humor Ambush Bug brings to the universe. When comic books are taking themselves more and more seriously, we need a character who will point out the silliness of it all and say lighten up.

The Ambush Bug comics are notoriously bad for biting the hand that feeds it, which is why it is so surprising to see the amount of editorial support this mini-series is getting. This weeks "DC Nation" (the last page of every DC comics comic) was even dedicated to hawking the series.

So, in short, support the Bug and bring comedy back to the comics!

Purrrfect Morts

2008-06-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

The Wrath was a Batman villian who is kind of the Reverse Batman (his parents were criminals who were killed by a police officer in front of him and he therefore dedicated his life to "avenging" them). He appeared in a very good Annual of Batman in the 80's and a recent story arc in Batman confidential which was also a lot of fun.

The Golden Age Daredevil (now known as 'Devil in Project Super Powers due to copyright issues)watched his parents die, dedicated himself to fighting injustice, and was mute. He also throws boomerangs.

Okay the new morts are not difficult to any one who has read DC comics, but they are related to the blog entry I wrote here. So who are our teen age heroes?

Back to Blogging

2008-05-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

Joanna was right about Ord from Breakworld. If Joss Whedon ever manages to finish his run on Astonishing X-Men, maybe we will get the end of the story for this character. Alright, I've got a couple of Morts for you. One is DC and the other is an INDY character that has become popular lately, who are they?

A Green Mort (Not Gamma Induced)

2008-03-31T16:08:00.000-07:00

Jennifer was so close, but alas no cigar will be awarded for last weeks mort, who was Cheeks, THE TOY WONDER (attention to detail is important. Cheeks, the Toy Wonder (Carp, now I have to write that the whole entry or be labeled a hypocrite), was the ill-fated sidekick to Ambush Bug who appeared and died in Ambush Bug #1. Cheeks, The Toy Wonder (really, couldn't I at least use abreviations?) fell out of the back of a garbage truck and through Ambush Bug's plate glass window on page 4. Cheeks, the Toy . . . oh forget it, Cheeks died a scant 10 pages later when he was unable to defuse a bomb left by terroristic Republicans (get it? because he's not really alive, just a doll). He would return in the follow up mini-series as a cannibalistic zombie doll, but that is a story for another day.
My assumption is that this weeks mort will not be that difficult for any of you, but you have surprised me on this sort of thing before. To give you a little extra help (and to take advantage of my keen new scanner) here are the stats for this Mort from the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe.

New Feature: Try a Comic!

Again, this is just me shamelessly showing off the scanner, but I wanted to spice up the blog by recommending a comic book that you may not have picked up this week. IDW publishing, the 5th largest comic book company, started its life best known as the go-to company for horror themed comics (30 Days of Night among other things). Recently, they have become synonymous with comic book adaptations of popular TV shows (Angel, 24, CSI). What they have not been known for are quality super hero comics, which is why FX #1 is such an odd find.

John Byrne, who has been associated with everything from the Fantastic Four to Superman, lends his familiar artwork to this series about a boy who awakens from a coma with the ability to create virtually anything by mimicking the item with his body and making the right sound effect (by holding his arms out and saying "fwoosh" he becomes a plan; making a gun with his hand and saying "bang, bang" creates real bullets). Despite the company producing this, it is a straight forward super hero book, and a pretty darn good one. In the words of the ominous skull guy that appears at the end of the book:

Ode to a Bug

2008-03-17T19:29:00.000-07:00

A little something different this week (thanks to the new scanner), but first who were last weeks morts?

The Marvel Mort (in Purple and Green) is the original Sin Eater, a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who became obsessed with destroying "sinners" after his partner was killed. As a little trivia, he was indirectly responsible for the creation of Venom, as Eddie Brock developed his hatred of Spider-Man when he was fired from the Daily Bugle for pursuing false leads about Sin Eater's identity.

The DC mort (in the horribly clashing purple, blue, and red) is the Protector, one of my favorite comic book stories. In the early 80's the Teen Titans was the most popular comic book DC published. This led to a series of anti-drug comics starring the Titans sponsored by Keebler products. Unfortunately, the leader of the Titans, Robin, was already licensed to Keebler's rival, Nabisco. Therefore, the character of the Protector was created to fill Robin's place.

I have read comic books for an obscenely long time, so long that I can't honestly remember the first one I read or how I started this crazy hobby. Despite this, I most certainly remember the first comic I read that made me love comic books. Ambush Bug #3 is so important to my formation as a comic book geek that when Jennifer and I traveled to Nags Head, NC last year the 7/11 where I bought the issue more than 20 years ago was one of the sites that we had to visit.

As you can see from the scan of the cover, this issue has been read extensively (a new copy would make an excellent birthday present, by the way).

If you've never read a comic book starring Ambush Bug, let me just say that he isn't a character well known for linear story-telling. Basically, each issue of the mini-series was an opportunity for the creative team (Robert Loren Flemming and Keith Giffen) to fire off as many jokes as they could in 22 pages. The rough outline of this issue, as you can tell from this splash page is the Bug introducing us to some of the more obscure characters in DC's past. In retrospect, I think this is why this book made me love comics so much. This issue showed me that, even if much of it is embarrassing, comic books have such a dense history that anyone with the desire and persistence can find a hidden treasure that the rest of the world has forgotten. Take for example:

Egg Fu, a character that was actually resurrected recently in 52, or:

Man, I miss the Super Pets! Or how about:

Bat Mite is awesome, even if he was painful to watch in the Batman cartoon. By the way, notice the fake ads at the bottom of the page. Why are fake ads always hilarious? Something for the dog lover:

Okay, Ace wasn't really that funny. Speaking of funny, Ambush Bug #3 featured the Milton Berle of Comic Book funny superheroes, The Inferior Five:

Of all of the pages in Ambush Bug #3, I think I always most enjoyed learning about Mopee. It is funny how many of the references I missed the first time I read this, but now I get every one:

I don't know if you can see the writing in the scans, but Ambush Bug soon stumbles upon a conspiracy of a fat housewife who has made all of these "classic" characters disappear. In the end of the book, we discover this villian's identity:

Unfortunately for Jonni DC, she can revel in her misdeeds only temporarily, as she soon meets her fate:

This ending was a bit of a running joke in the mini-series, as Darkseid would appear in the last panel of each issue along with a blurb that next issue would show the titanic showdown between the lord of Apokolips and Ambush Bug (therefore guaranteeing huge sells for the next issue).

Okay, I know it was a joke, but one of the most meaningful parts of Ambush Bug #3 was the column you see to your left, which appeared in the letters page of this issue. It is ironic that AB would heap praises upon his favorite comic book issue in what would become my favorite comic book issue. I guess in my own way I have "lived my whole life based on principles that I learned," in Ambush Bug #3. I've learned that it doesn't matter if you are the biggest, or best, or most popular. It doesn't matter if everyone knows your name, as long as you have an interesting story that makes someone smile for a couple of minutes. I also learned that even if your story isn't interesting, there will be someone who sits and listens to it all. After all, you're still reading, aren't you?

Okay, I know some of you only care about guessing new Morts, so here is another one for you. It also comes from Ambush Bug #3. I know I have done this one before, but who is this?

Also, if you think about it, tell me about your favorite single issue of a comic book. What made it special for you?

Mort Game Version 2.0

2008-03-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ulu Vakk from the planet Lupra was struck by a ray from another dimension and gained the ability to change the color of objects. Taking the name Color Kid, Ulu joined the Legion of Substitute Heroes. In current continuity, it was mentioned in an issue of Action Comics that he was blinded by Earth Man, thus making his powers fairly moot.

As I mentioned in my main blog, Jennifer and I got a new printer, one that doubles as a scanner and a copier. This is exciting news for the mort game, as it means that I don't have to hunt down images for an obscure character that I want to induct into this hall of shame. All I have to do is go to my well organized and very expansive personal comic book collection and find any random image I want. I think this development will allow me much more freedom in my selections. In celebration of this, I have two morts for you this week. One is Marvel and one is from DC, and I scanned both of them myself. So, enjoy!

A Colorful Mort

2008-03-03T16:55:00.000-08:00

Our last mort was indeed Combo-Man, a character created to promote the Combo's brand snackfood in the 90's. If you are curious, Combo-man is an amalgamation of Captain America, Carnage, Cyclops, Daredevil, Hulk, Human Torch, Iron Man, Magneto, Punisher, Spider Man, Wolverine, and some other random guys. You can read more about him here.

Alright, I can usually trip you up with a member of the Legion of Substitute Heroes, so here is one for you to guess at.

Mortastic Combo

2008-02-11T18:44:00.001-08:00

Short and Sweet: Who's this guy?

Project Super Powers

2008-01-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

This is one of the many reasons I love Comic Books. It isn't Marvel, so EDMC is probably out, but look at this trailer and tell me your inner nerd doesn't want you to buy this. (I had to shrink this trailer, but you can see it full size here).

By the way, everybody is right about Nocturne. She is the daughter of other worldy versions of Nightcrawler and Scarlet Witch. According to Wikipedia, she can possess others, project hex bolts, telepathically communicate with others, and is superhumanly agile. She is a member of the Exiles team, which isn't a bad read.

Good Night, Mort

2008-01-15T10:30:00.000-08:00

As Randy correctly identified, Tyroc was the member of the Legion of Super Heroes with Sonic Powers. His origin is at least a little interesting, as he is one of the descendents of a group of slaves who escaped a slave ships as it was making the middle passage and settled on a remote island that moved in and out of dimensions every 200 years. My favorite part of Tyroc, as evidenced by his wikipedia page, is that different screams caused different things to happen:

Among the screams in Tyroc's arsenal:
EEYYAAAHH! - pyrokinesis
AHHRRRRRR! - force field
OYYUUUUUU! - teleportation
ARRRRHHHH! - explosions
ZZZRRRUUGGHH! - telekinesis
UIUUIEEEE! - transmutation
ARRREEEEG! - weather manipulation
IRRRRWWWW! - chlorokinesis
CCCIIIRRR! - vertigo
RRRYYYY! - wind manipulation

That is classic, silver-agey goodness.

Okay, the new mort is a gimmee to EDMC, but let's see if any of the rest of you know it.

Mort from (future) Motown

2008-01-08T16:28:00.000-08:00

The Hate-Monger was an occasional enemy of the Fantastic Four and other Marvel super heroes who utilized his "hate-ray" to turn heroes against one another. After his first defeat, Hate Monger was unmasked and revealed to be Adolf Hitler, who had in actuality survived World War II. Arnim Zola, one of Hitler's chief scientists in the Marvel universe, once created a machine to allow Hitler to transfer his consciousness into new bodies, thus granting the German dictator immortality in a sense, but the machine was subsequently destroyed, and das fuhrer is apparently gone for good.

I decided to jump over to the DC side of things for this week's mort. Despite the picture, he is actually one of the future's great heroes. Who is he?

Hooded Mort

2007-12-18T17:46:00.000-08:00

Dennis Burton was a district attorney during World War II who grew tired of watching guilty criminals walk free, so he adopted the guise of "The Laughing Mask" to hunt the guilty down and shoot them in cold blood. Remember how everyone believed comic books were kiddy-faire back in the golden age? Yeah, not so much. The Laughing Mask will be re-appearing in the The Twelve, a miniseries from Marvel which will be written by J. Michael Straczynski and drawn by Chris Weston. Look for it in Spring of 2008.

As you may or may not know, Christmas is coming up. One of the many presents my mother bought me this year was Stan Lee's Amazing Marvel Universe, written by Roy Thomas, and since I'm not good at waiting until the 25th to open my presents, I was able to discover this new Mort. So, what does the "H" stand for, and who's under the hood?

A Very Funny Mort

2007-12-06T07:30:00.000-08:00

I think I reached the pinnacle of Morts last post. He was so morty, that I completely forgot who he was and have had to spend the last 30 minutes trying to figure it out myself. Nonetheless, I suceeded and am prepared to tell you that our last mort was Prince Dezan, a skrull that was imprisoned by his own people for the crime of wanting peace. He was rescued by a rebel faction of skrulls and aided by the Avengers so that he could assume his proper role as heir to the Skrull empire. Unfortunately, almost immediately after defeating his opponents, a "hyperwave" bomb exploded and robbed the skrulls of their shape-changing powers, with every skrull being stuck in whatever form they were in when the bomb exploded. It's kind of the equivalent of the skrulls 9/11, which happened shortly after George Bush became president. I am not versed in Marvel mythos enough to know how the skrulls got their shape-changing power back, or what happened to Dezan after this incident. If anyone knows, post it in the comments section.

The new Mort is actually a very old one, but one that you will see on your local comic book store's shelves in the next few weeks. Who is he?

A Skrully Mort

2007-11-27T19:42:00.000-08:00

Morbius isMichael Morbius, a biochemist who tried to cure his rare blood condition with an experimental treatment involving vampire bats. Can anyone be surprised that it went horribly wrong and he became the "living vampire" an occasional enemy and ally of Spider-Man.

Okay, this weeks Mort is ridiculously difficult, so good luck. Just so my comments section isn't completely empty, let's add a comic-themed question. Give me your top five favorite comics currently being put out and explain why. Here's mine:

5. Booster Gold- Let's get the obvious one out of the way first. The set-up (Booster doing the Quantum Leap bit throughout the DC Universe) is original, and the fact that the resolution usually comes through Booster's brain and not his powers is just a plus.

4. Flash- I've never been a huge fan of the Flash Mythos, but the recent addition of Wally West's twins adds a humor that makes this title a must have for me.

3. Metamorpho (Year One) - The year one series are updating the origins of DC characters, and this mini series has been outstanding in doing just that for DC's Hulk.

2. The Atom / Blue Beetle- Yeah, I'm cheating by putting two, but this is a legitimate tie. Both of these titles are legacy characters who skew more towards humor than straight up action. Both are kind of quirky, but somehow seem to work flawlessly.

1. The Brave and the Bold- Mark Waid putting together the most random pairings of characters in the DC universe and George Perez drawing it. What's not to love about this?

A Morbid Mort

2007-11-12T13:15:00.001-08:00

I was pleasantly surprised with the response to my departure from the game last week, so we will do more of that in the future. However, it wouldn't be the Mort Game if we didn't, you know, play the game every so often. The new Mort is up.

In some quick comics chat, Keeper mentioned in his last comment being excited for the last issue of Illumanati. After reading it, I would have to agree. Big exciting doings in the Marvel universe, although I wish that they would actually finish one crisis (World War Hulk) before they move on to the next.

This week is going to be a banner day in the Hylemon household as my wife says. All-Star Superman, Booster Gold, Captain Carrot, Salvation Run, A Teen Titans Special, Welcome to Tranquility, Captain Marvel, House of M: Avengers, Marvel Comics Presents, Thor, and X-Factor are some of the comics I am most excited about.

Have a great week!

Comic Book Art Review

2007-11-05T16:02:00.000-08:00

Nico Minoru is the mystic leader of the Runaways occasionally known as Sister Grimm. When she bleeds, her "Staff of One" appears and she is able to cast virtually any spell (although she can apparently only use a spell once). I'm constantly surprised that I catch everyone with Runaways morts, since it is one of the best series on the shelf today. Unfortunately, since Joss Whedon has taken over (whom I love), the series has become at best a quarterly title. I have the entirety of the series if you want to read it. By the time you finish it, the next issue may be out.

A change of pace today. Instead of our usual game, I thought we could talk about comic book artists. I've told several of you that I am weird for a comic book reader,because I usually tend to ignore the artwork in favor of the text. Even I, however, have to be impressed by some of the art work I see. Conversely, some art is so visually jarring that it makes it impossible to focus on a good story. What makes for good comic art, and what is "distractingly bad" (as Jennifer and I often label work)? Here is some of my favorite and least favorite artists:

Favorites:

George Perez- A veteran who has drawn every major character for either of the big two. Crisp, clean art that is beyond beautiful. Check his work out in the current Brave and the Bold Series.

David Finch- Got his start at Top Cow, but currently brings his super detailed art to Marvel.

Greg Horn- Realistic Painting with alot of humor (especially the covers to the current She-Hulk Series).

Greg Land- Probably best known for his ability to draw really beautiful women, he has that sort of detailed artwork that makes every picture pop off the page. Find his work in the current Ultimate Power series.

Least Favorites:

Howard Chaykin- I don't know if it is because everything I've read by him is tinged with his liberal political leanings, but I just can't get myself to enjoy anything with his name attached to it. His work also seems blocky, and every character he draws appears to be bloated.

Leinil Yu- Yu's work may just be too stylized for my liking. His art on New Avengers makes my head hurt a little.

Skottie Young- It has something to do with body proportion and detail, or the lack thereof.

Others:

I'm not sure I could put either of these as favorites, but when I'm in the right mood I really enjoy these two.

Mike Allred- His Solo book was one of the best I've ever read. His work is distinctive and very visually appealing.

Keith Giffen- Again, it is very stylized, but not really in a negative way. What he does with perspective makes for a different reading experience.

So, who are your favorite artists and why?

A Halloween Mort

2007-10-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

The Black Racer was the "avatar of death" in Jack Kirby's little corner of the DC Universe. As a side note, "avatar" may be the most overused word in all of comicdom. It's kind of like one of the editors found a thesaurus, started browsing, but never got past the A's. As an additional side note, there are far too many characters that represent death in DC Comics.

Anyway, The Black Racer was Sgt. Willie Walker, a bedridden Vietnam Vet who was called on to harvest the souls of dead New Gods (apparently this whole "Death of the New Gods" thing isn't a new concept). Black Racer can transport himself anywhere in the cosmos with his ski's (making him in someways DC's Silver Surfer, who was also a Kirby creation). As I mentioned previously, he himself was killed in the first issue of Death of the New Gods. His death throws into confusion what is happening to the souls of those New Gods who are still yet to die.

Alright, our new mort is a Marvel character perfectly suited for a Halloween entry. Enjoy!

Racing to Obscurity

2007-10-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

Daddy Long Legs, known originally by his birth name of Ramsey Kole, wanted to be a dancer but was too short. To fix this, well, shortcoming, Kole approaches Bill Foster, the hero who must have been created in the 70's because he's also known as Black Goliath. Dr. Foster refuses to help the short dancer, so Kole attacks him from behind and steals the ingredients for the scientist's growth formula. Unfortunately, the homegrown brew is not as effective as the original formula and Kole's extremities are elongated to frightening proportions. Unfazed, the newly christened Daddy Long Legs takes over a theater to have an audience to dance for. Unfortunately, the audience is unappreciative of his talents and he vows revenge. Enter Spider Woman, who takes the goofy mort down pretty easily.

Okay, for the record, what does it say about Bill Foster as a super hero that after being embarrased by some short guy whose whole dream in life is to be a dancer, he has to call in Spider Woman to make the save? Wow, Clone Thor ain't looking so cruel no more, is he?

To stem off comments by those of you who might say this in a less PC way, yes the new mort is another African American. I should hold onto these until February and have an African American History Month countdown, but that just isn't going to happen. By the way, today's Mort apparently died in a comic last week, but he is so mort-y that it wasn't even publicized.

Tall, Dark, and Glass-Jawed Mort

2007-10-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

With more thought, I think I was unfair to our Morts from last week. The first issue of the Order was only so-so, but the two subsequent issues have been really good. It is recommended reading. For those unaware, Tony Stark created the 50 state inniative in the wake of Marvel's Civil War. The innitiative created a super human team for each of the states in the union. The Order is the team stationed in California; Los Angeles to be exact. The membership of the Order consists of:

Top Row (Left to Right):

Aralune (Becky Ryan) - A pop diva with shapeshifting power. Imagine if Britney Spears were a Skrull (which might explain some things).

Supernaut (Sgt. Milo Fields) - Crippled in some undisclosed incident, Supernaut fights injustice in a large battlesuit.

Anthem (Henry Hellrung) - The field leader of the Order is actually an actor who used to play Iron Man in the Marvel Universe's Avengers TV show. He has the powers of, "a supercell Thunderstorm" (whatever that is).

Bottom Row (Left to Right):

Calamity (James Wa) - A former major league baseball player who lost his legs in a car accident, Wa created artificial legs and has the ability to move at super speed.

Veda (Magdalena Marie) - Veda can create geomorphic constructs (dirt people) that follow her mental commands.

Mulholland Black - She draws strength from Los Angeles itself to enable her to wield a really big hammer.

Alright, the new mort is obviously an enemy of Spider Woman. Who is this long-legged mort?

Non-Chaotic Morts

2007-10-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

Our last Mort was Emoticon, one of the reoccuring characters in Gail Simone's Welcome to Tranquility. It is an excellent read that you shouldn't miss out on (particularly the first arc, which I have if anyone wants to borrow it). Emoticon is one of the thugs that hangs out in the small town of Tranquility and is the apparent grandson of the former supervillian The Typist, who blinded and disfigured him to give his secret origin a touch of "tragedy". Emoticon's mask allows him not only to see, but it also broadcasts his emotion through an LCD screen, affectively making it impossible for him to lie convincingly.

The new morts are not all that good, but it has been a long day. I will have to do some research before I post the answer next week naming each one of these morts, so save me the time by doing your own research and I can just piggy-back off of you.

An Emotional Mort

2007-09-25T06:00:00.001-07:00

Last weeks morts were the Young Avengers. I guess there is nothing worse for a blog like this than a confusing picture. For the record, I was thinking that the whole team would be the morts (notice the title is plural), but since I was unclear, Randy gets full points. As for the rest of you, check your own papers (starting with the girl with a bow):

Hawkeye (Kate Bishop)- Kate was the first person that the Young Avengers tried to save, but being new at the hero game, they messed it up pretty badly and had to be rescued by her. She's good with a Bow and Arrow as well as other types of weapons.

Hulkling (Teddy Altman)- One of the things that makes the YA's interesting is that very little is as it seems. Although one would assume that this junior Avenger had some sort of a run-in with a gamma bomb, he is actually the half-skrull son of the Kree hero Captain Mar-Vell and therefore a shape-shifter.

Patriot (Eli Bradley)- The masked guy holding the metal head is the team's Captain America, although his lineage actually traces back to Isaiah Bradley, the so-called "Black Captain America".

Iron Lad (Kang the Conqueror)- A teenaged Kang the Conqueror learned that he would become one of the Avengers most persistent enemies and so traveled back in time to enlist the aid of the Avengers to keep him from this fate (time travel makes my head hurt). As you can see, the plan didn't go so well.

Stature (Cassie Lang)- The daughter of Scott Lang, the second Ant-Man. Interestingly, Cassie also appears in the kiddie title "Marvel Adventures:Avengers" as Giant Girl.

Wiccan (Billy Kaplan)- Although he looks like the knockoff Thor, the current theory is that he is one of the twin children of the Scarlet Witch (his "brother", Thomas Shepherd, has also appeared in the series).

Alright, hopefully there will be no confusion about the new mort. For the record, he isn't technically a Marvel or DC character, so maybe everyone will be on equal footing.

Marvelous Morts

2007-09-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

The morts from last week were indeed from the Tangent universe, one of the 52 universes that comprise the DC multiverse and the source of a big DC event in 1997. I believe that Randy guessed just about everyone right, but as a review:

1) The red fish looking guy is one of the Sea-Devils, RedFin by name.

2)The woman in green carrying the lantern is Tangent's Green Lantern

3)The blonde sparkling girl is Flash

4)Mr. Muscles in the foreground is the Atom

5) The military guy is one of the Metal Men, and the current president of the Tangent America.

I recently picked up volume one of the Tangent series in TPB form and it was pretty good. I was particularly interested in their wide use of genre's, with only the Flash and the Atom being anything like a Super Hero story. Of those two, I really liked the Flash, since it was more a silver-agey story, where Atom was much closer to Watchmen with secrets and twists and turns. The Green Lantern was a Tales from the Crypt style Horror Anthology, with this GL having the ability to raise people from the dead so that they can finish one task. The Metal Men was a straight war story, albeit a good one, while the Sea Devils was a little more complicated to place in a genre, but was good in its own right.

Alright to make Joanna happy, the new Mort is Marvel. Enjoy!

Alternative Morts

2007-09-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

Katarina Armstrong is the most recent version of the Spy Smasher. In college, Katarina first met Barbara Gordon, the young woman who would become Batgirl and later Oracle. The two women quickly became rivals, competing on every field from athletics to scholarship to relationships. Leaving college, Katarina excelled in the shadowy realms of the U.S. government becoming a high-ranking anti-terrorism agent and, according to herself, the highest authority in the United States including the President. Recently, her government work brought her into contact with her college rival Barbara Gordon, and through blackmail she briefly gained control of Oracle's "Birds of Prey". This situation, however, was resolved when Katarina was confronted by the combined forces of every living Birds of Prey agent (in a fantastic four page spread) and told to forget that Oracle existed or else. By the way, if you aren't reading Birds of Prey, you really ought to be.

Okay, the new Morts are kind of tricky. You have heard the name of at least the front three, but take your best guess on all five.

A Return to the Morts

2007-08-28T19:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, I told you in my main blog that I'm supposed to be working instead of blogging, but I realized I don't have to do any research since my last entry was a review of the most recent issue of Booster Gold (BTW, yes, Goldstar, Booster's secretary Trixie Collins, was a former Mort, and I would love to see her again in the new series). Okay, the new Mort is DC. Enjoy.

Mort Game Review

2007-08-21T17:19:00.000-07:00

Randy hit our last mort right on the head (figurtively speaking) when he guessed that he was Mister Bones, a former low-level DC villian, and member of the evil team Helix. Mister Bones' invisible skin emits cyanide, meaning he kills whoever he touches. Interestingly, Wikipedia reports that he is an African-American, which I think is a difficult thing to establish if your skin is invisible. Am I wrong on this?

As a break from the usual foolishness on this site, Randy recommended I give you a brief review of what was arguably the best comic book released last week, Booster Gold #1. Now, in complete honesty, my opinion is that the Booster Gold #1 that came out in 1986 was better than the issue we got last week, but I'm so excited that we actually have a series featuring the Corporate Crusader that I won't complain. Plus, I'm not sure any of you would read a review of Booster Gold #1 (1986).

Anyway, to the review: The issue begins with Booster Gold taking out the Royal Flush Gang in a scene purposefully reminiscent of Justice League #4, where Booster joins the League. The scene is perfunctory, but it beautifully sets up the story-telling device the writers used to frame the story (Will Booster join the Justice League again?) . Recognizing that there will be more than a few Johnny-Come-Lately's to the greatness that is Booster Gold, the authors show some pity and give a quick two page recap of Booster's origin (The 1986 series waited six issues before rewarding the readers with this information, but they spent seven pages on the origin, so I guess it all balances out). The current Justice League makes a cameo, no doubt to help boost the sales of their own little series, and we get a quick look at the DC universe's feelings about Booster. It is mostly negative, although I find it most interesting that both Batman and Superman (two of the "Big Three") speak in his favor. Wonder Woman certainly would have as well, but I'm sure she was just overcompensating for her unspoken physical attraction for the hero from the future.

After the B-List move back to their own mag, the story moves on and we are reintroduced to Booster's supporting cast, namely his ancestor Daniel and his "boss" Rip Hunter. Skeets is here as well, sans his evil caterpillar induced persona, but he's hardly just a supporting character. We also get an idea of what the series will be about, as we learn that Booster must continually travel through time to "set right things that once went wrong". So, yeah, it's a little "Quantum Leap", but it also means that the writers have the whole of the DC universe- past, present, and future- to play with. Booster Gold will be the only place you get to see Barry Allen as Flash, Ted Kord as Blue Beetle, or Sinestro as a Green Lantern.

On a whole different level, Booster Gold is a deeply woven character study, as Booster, who has always been defined by his desire for recognition, must play the part of the fool, sacrificing his legacy so that he and his ancestors will be safe from evil time-travellers. Anyone who has read the previously mentioned series from 1986 (and I guess that would be me) knows that the question of whether he will be capable of living this lie is a legitimate one. Even if he can, the inescapability of this fate is tragic in its own right, like the story of someone who seeks love their whole life only to die friendless and alone. To make a long story just a little longer, Booster Gold is an important comic in the DC universe and one you should be reading.

Those of you who show up only to guess the Mort, feel free to examine the cover of Booster Gold #1 and guess about who you see on the playing cards.

That's "Mister" Skull-Faced Mort to you

2007-08-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

Sheikh Farouk Al-Fasaud was a crooked government official in an oil producing middle eastern country. His scheming was uncovered by American journalist Gregory Dunbar. Enraged, the sheikh attempted to kill Dunbar by stabbing him with a knife, but Dunbar ducked and Fasaud stabbed a nearby video camera instead. This accident transformed him into an electronic form that allowed Fasaud to continue his campaign of revenge against the reporter. The "All-New" Fantastic Four (featuring Human Torch, Thing, the Inhuman Crystal, and the Ms. Marvel that would one day be transformed into She-Thing), managed to stop the sheikh's vengance.

Okay, I've decided to return to my DC comics roots for the new Mort. Take your best guess.

Mort sponsored by the Atari 2600

2007-08-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

The last Mort was hardly fair in all honesty, as Crackerjack Jackson only appeared in one issue (1974's The Incredible Hulk #182). This blog isn't meant to be a review of individual comic books, but the short version of the story is as follows: Hulk has just finished a knockdown, drag-out fight with Wolverine when he hears someone playing the Harmonica. Following the music, Hulk meets Crackerjack Jackson who offers Hulk some of the beans he is warming up over a campfire. Touched by Jackson's kindness, Hulk joins the vagabond for a meal, where he learns that Crackerjack Jackson has a son who is in prison. Cut to a scene just outside of prison where two felons, one of them Crackerjack's son, have just escaped. While escaping, they meet an alien. Scared, the criminal who is not the younger Jackson shoots the alien. In an ironic twist, this is exactly what the alien needs, as he was about to die of hunger, except his race eats metal. As a reward, the alien transforms the criminals into super-criminals, namely Hammer and Anvil. Cut back to Hulk, who decides to help his new friend Crackerjack by helping him break into prison to visit his son. This ironically coincides with Hammer and Anvil also breaking back into prison to get retribution on their jailkeepers. Crackerjack sees his now super powered son and tries to convince him not to commit the crime, but tempers flare and Crackerjack is killed by his own son. After that, well, Hulk Smashes before taking Crackerjack's body and giving it a private burial. All in all, a pretty good self-standing issue of The Incredible Hulk.

Okay, I said that Crackerjack Jackson wasn't fair because he only appeared in one comic book, so the new Mort is at least three times more fair, since he appeared in a grand total of 3 comics. Of course, it was a three-issue story arc of Fantastic Four, but I think that is more than enough exposure for you to figure this guy out. Have fun!

The Incredible Mort

2007-07-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

Jennifer and Randy both picked up on the subtle hints from our last character, who is in actuality "Omega, The Unknown." As I mentioned before, Omega was the titular character in a short lived series from Marvel. The series actually focused on James-Michael Starlin, a 12 year old boy who dreams about Omega at the beginning of the series. Shortly after the dream, James' parents are revealed as robots and the actual Omega saves his life. The remainder of the series focuses on James' attempts at living a normal life in the wake of his parent's betrayal and explores the mysterious connection between the boy and the hero. Unfortunately, the series ended before those questions were fully answered.

Alright a new mort is up, and he is a challenge. He appeared in one issue of The Incredible Hulk (Thanks for the DVD-ROM, by the way). Good Luck!

The Final Word in Morts

2007-07-19T17:48:00.001-07:00

Last week's mort was Infectious Lass, Drura Sepht, a member of the Legion of Substitute Heroes. As her name implies, Drura has the ability to spontaneously infect people with all types of infectious diseases. Since the Legion takes place in the 31st century, where one would assume a whole slew of new diseases had been discovered, this ability made Infectious Lass a valuable Deus Ex Machina, able to bale her fellow substitutes out of all sorts of jams with a disease that had never been introduced before (I have a very clear memory, for instance, of her infecting someone with a virus that changed their gender).

Alright, we have a new mort, and he may be the mortiest mort I have ever offered up for your scrutiny. As the Stan Lee tag tells you, he is a Marvel mort. I will also tell you that he was the star of his own self-titled comic (that started in 1976), but it only lasted ten issues before being cancelled for low sales. This was not the end of our mort, however, as he developed somewhat of a cult following, so much so that it has even been announced that he will soon get another shot in an eponymous series. I've given you enough hints to discover the truth if you don't already know it, so get to work!

Poorly Dressed Mort

2007-07-09T22:40:00.000-07:00

Joanna gets the prize this week, as she correctly identified American Eagle, Jason Strongbow. His latest appearance in the Marvel Universe was as one of the hunted anti-registration heroes in Thunderbolts. In what was my favorite fight scene of the last few weeks, American Eagle went one on one with Daredevil archnemesis Bullseye, surprising everyone by not only defeating the marksman, but crippling him, perhaps permanently. When I first read the story, I saw it as a great victory for "my" heroes, as the decidedly mort-ish American Eagle took out one of the A-list baddies (it's the equivalent of Booster Gold taking out the Joker), but the more I think about the current events in Marvel Comics, I've become convinced that either American Eagle or Bullseye is a Skrull. I'm calling that, by the way, so give me credit when it's revealed.

I've decided to move over to the DC Universe for a mort or two. To be honest, I can't remember if I've done this one or not, but since she was recently featured in an excellent back-up story in a major mini-series, I thought it would be nice to pull her out of the mothballs and dust her off for you. By the way, I think I'm coming down with a summer cold, not that this is a hint or anything. Just making conversation.

All American Mort

2007-07-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

Randy had the right idea by researching Jimmy Woo since our Mort was the arch nemesis of the Asian-American super spy (and later member of S.H.I.E.LD.), exept that this is one of those rare cases where the hero appeared in the villian's comic, instead of the other way around. Last week's mort was Plan Chu, better known as "The Yellow Claw". The Yellow Claw was Atlas Comic's (the forerunner of Marvel) take on Fu Manchu. If you're like me, that probably doesn't mean a great deal. Yellow Claw was a scientific and mystical mad genius with plans to rule the world. He was also written with a bad Oriental accent and drawn with jaundiced skin because racial sensitivity was not a high priority for comic book creators in the fifties and sixties. Surprisingly, The Yellow Claw was brought back in the 2006-2007 miniseries Agents of Atlas, although it is there explained that his name is really the Golden Claw and not the Yellow Claw to get past some of the hang-ups with this character.

Okay, here is a special Independence Day mort for you, and one who proved himself to be quite the fighter in a recent issue of a Marvel Comic. No more hints; who is he?

Politically incorrect Mort

2007-06-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

It is no secret that comics have their fill of characters who would not be considered politically correct. Truth be told, this is one of the things that I really like about comic books, in so much as they give kind of a month by month look at the world as it is (hold the laughter, please). This has been the really fun part of my 40 years of the Avengers DVD-ROM, stumbling onto the occasional "socially aware" issue that has the Avengers combatting the evils opposing African-Americans, Women, and Native Americans. Of course, all of these issues are written by Stan Lee or Roy Thomas, neither of whom were African-American, women, or Native Americans. Where am I going with all of this? I don't have any clue, but here is a picture of one such politically incorrect mort. Who is he?

Pause

2007-06-20T09:25:00.001-07:00

Randy is right, the last Mort was Forbush Man, a comedic character featured in the Marvel comic Not Brand Echhh!, which was popular in the late 60's. I hope you can forgive me, but I'm going to hesitate on posting a new mort until the situation with Booger seems a little more clear. Thanks for understanding.

Home Made Mort

2007-06-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm so disappointed that Randy got so close to the truth of this mort but didn't follow through on figuring it out. His detective skills are sound, as the mort in question is the most recent incarnation of a Freedom Fighter character. In this case, we have Jenna Raleigh, the grandniece of the original Red Bee. While the original used trained bees to fight crime, Jenna uses robotic versions equipped with electrical stingers. She also wears a "battle suit" that allows her to fly and gives her added strength.

Okay, I warned you that I would soon start using my newly acquired knowledge of golden age Marvel history on this blog, and the day has come. Today's mort was never an avenger or a member of the Fantastic Four, but he does appear in several house ads back in the day. Plus, as an added hint to Randy and Regan (Does he read this anymore?), they made a heroclick out of this mort (sort of). So, good luck!

A Bee-utiful Mort

2007-06-05T15:30:00.001-07:00

Randy pretty much nailed our last mort, The Fantastic Four's alien nemesis Impossible Man. Much like DC's Mr. Mxyzptlk, the Impossible Man is an other dimensional entity that appears on earth every so often to play tricks on the heroes to relieve his own personal boredom. The primary difference is that while DC's imp has reality warping powers, the Impossible Man is apparently "limited" to changing his own shape, although this isn't much of a limit since he has been able to shapeshift into everything from a spaceship to Galactus himself.

I'm strongly tempted to use my newfound knowledge of golden age Avengers and Fantastic Four to find a mort you would never guess, but I'll refrain from that for now. Instead, I will return to my DC roots for today's mort, a second generation hero. Enjoy!

FF's Impish Mort

2007-05-28T16:39:00.001-07:00

Well, it has been a while hasn't it? Randy is once again correct, as our last Mort was indeed Vartox, the hero of Tynola, a planet "trillions of miles from Earth". His story is meant to mirror the life of Superman in many ways, insofar as his home planet was destroyed and he was the last survivor. He swears to uphold his adopted homeworld of Tynola just as Superman has become Earth's greatest hero, even though he really isn't from Earth. His physical appearance is meant to resemble Sean Connery, and his name is an allusion to the movie Zardoz, in which Sean Connery wore a similar outfit. This, of course, begs the question of where Vartox is today. My guess is that he is sitting on a couch somewhere, balding and hurling insults at Alex Trebek every day when Jeopardy comes on.

Okay, let's move to the Marvel longbox for our next mort. I doubt he is as obscure as some that we have shown, so tell me what you can.

Murdering Mort (now with even more chest hair)

2007-05-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

Randy scores with the 3-pointer this week (sorry to the Mav fans for whom a Basketball reference is a cruel reminder). Last Week's mort is Deathwing, a Hypertime version of Dick Grayson who becomes a stooge for evil Raven late in the New Teen Titans run. His story is actually more complicated than that, having served as part of the Team Titans, time travelling heroes from the future sent back to stop the birth of Donna Troy's baby, since he would grow up to be the evil Lord Chaos. Except, he wouldn't apparently, as Lord Chaos and the Team Titans were created by former Titan Monarch as Sleeper Agents to turn the tide of battle against the heroes during the Zero Hour event. Except, not all the Team Titans were part of the plan apparently, since when Monarch was defeated, all of the Team Titans that he created dissappeared, but Deathwing didn't. It was later learned that he was plucked from our time line by the Time Trapper in an effort to create his own sleeper agents to counteract the sleeper agents of Monarch during the Zero Hour event. Confused, yet? This is why the Teen Titans line folded.

There are few things better than Silver Agey Superman goodness. The Mort above is one example of it. Who is he?

Not Such a Good Night-Mort

2007-05-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

The Jurgens / Perez era Titans was doomed from the start (which is hard for something that has the name of George Perez attached to it). Nobody was clamoring for a total rewrite of the once powerful Titans regime (The best selling title of the 80's. It beat out the X-Men, seriously!). What fans did want was a return to the hey day of the series, with Robin, Wondergirl, Cyborg, Changling, and all of the other characters who had become famous through the pens of Marv Wolfman and George Perez. What they got was a whole new cast of virtual unknowns (although in fairness, characters who kept the spirit of the original title). All of the morts pictured (with the exception of the Atom) had the same origin. Their mothers were abducted by the H'San Natall alien race and impregnated in an effort to raise sleeper agents that would rise up at the precise moment and betray the earths super humans and allow the aliens to take over the earth. So the Teen Titans are human-alien hybrids with great storyline potential to examine the whole nature / nurture debate. Untapped potential, sadly. Anyway, the 96' era Teen Titans were:

Joto (in the Hoodie)- Isaiah Crockett has the power to generate great amounts of heat. He also has the odd ability to send out "Heat Pulses" that worked kind of like a Bat's sonar and enable him to see images that he couldn't really see (I know that makes no sense, so read an issue or two of the series to figure it out). To me, he is the best of the bunch, since Jurgens didn't rely on the, "Hey, he's black" trick to define his character. In other words, they didn't need to show Joto playing basketball or listening to rap or any of the other things we white people assume about African Americans in order to establish his character. Isaiah is level headed, calm under pressure, and far more than any of his compatriots, cut out for the super hero game. He even died and came back to life, so he's halfway there.

Atom (The Little Dude)- Yup, that's good old Ray Palmer, except that during Zero Hour he was reverted into a teenager. He led the team, if by lead you mean throw fits every time his teammates didn't recognize that he was a former Justice Leaguer. At one point, he also gained the ability to grow really big as well, but Superman "healed" him of that at the same time he was "healed" of his youth.

Prysm (The glowing Purple Chick)- Prysm is an interesting exception to the rest of the group in that, while the rest of the abducted mothers were returned to Earth, Prysm's mom stayed with the Aliens and Prysm was raised in a virtual reality world (which may be the third biggest indicator that you are reading a 90's book behind Ridiculously large guns and crappy Rob Liefield art). She is very naive about the ways of the world, but can fly and project energy bolts.

Risk (Look, with two arms!)- Cody Driscoll has tremendous speed, strength, and stamina (although not enough to keep Superboy from pulling his arm off). He was portrayed as the Big Man on Campus type, although ironically he was also portrayed as coming from a lower income, single parent family, which added some depth to what could have been a very flat character.

Argent (The pale one with the rainbows and no sense of modesty)- Toni Monetti can create constructs of Silver Plasma (much like the Green Lanterns, but without the silly aversion to yellow). Unfortunately, she wasn't very creative and usually used the power to make shields or slides to aid in transportation. She began as the most one dimensional of these new Titans, a rich party girl, a precursor to Paris Hilton if you will, but after Joto's death, she rededicated herself to the job of being a Titan, and was the only one of the group to serve in the Titan's later incarnations.

One of the things I loved about this series, and I hope that it shows in my synopses, is that the characters had a depth of emotion that is somewhat uncommon. No one's personality is easy to sum up, and even in 25 issues the characters developed beyond what you would assume. All in all, well worth the read.

Okay, new mort, also from the Titans family. Be careful with this one, as it is not who it appears to be (or is it?)

Second String Morts

2007-04-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

Ego, the living planet is a sentient planet in the Marvel Universe who often feuded with Thor and, on occasion, the Fantastic Four. For a sentient planet, Ego did some very unplanetlike things, such as cruising around the galaxy under its own power (stubbornly refusing to follow its orbit), and "consuming" smaller, less conscious planets. Although they have met a number of times, Ego and Galactus have never had a truly definitive match.

In the latest issue of Marvel Adventures The Avengers, the Avengers book that is geared more towards kids, Ego reappears and tries to romance Earth with humerous and futile results.

So last week, in the midst of the horrible weather that hit us in Dallas, we temprarily lost power in the Hylemon home. With no TV, DVD, video games, or computer (my stupid laptop has a bad battery), I became desperate for some sort of entertainment (Jennifer was gone at Bunco, so I couldn't even have a good conversation with anyone other than the cats). The blackout led me to my back issue collection, and to the series starring our latest Morts. For a series that only lasted 24 issues (many of which were co-opted by their predecessors), the series was a surprisingly good read. So, can you name the team, as well as the individual members?

The World's Largest Love Mort-chine

2007-04-23T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I put up an Indy Mort and you get quiet on me all of a sudden. I'm sure that it is because I have stumped you with my massive Comic Book knowledge and not because everyone I know who posts on this site either had a kid this week or is related to someone who did. Oh well, hopefully you'll get a chance to play this week in between changing diapers and warming bottles.

For the record, last week's Morts were Cassie Hack and her partner Vlad from the Devil's Due publication HACK/slash. Cassie was the lone survivor of a horror movie-esque slasher named "The Lunch Lady", who also happened to be her mother. Now, she travels the globe hunting these slashers and killing them before they can kill innocents. After several one shots and a mini-series, HACK/slash will begin an ongoing series in May.

The newest Mort was the star of the funniest comic I read this week. Good luck!

Gothic Mort

2007-04-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

The Devil is in the details as they say, and I was sad to se that although Randy correctly identified the mort as a, "marvel bunny", he was unable to identify the mort as the, "Hoppy, the Marvel Bunny". Oh well, I guess he will have to settle for his consolation prize, a bouncing baby boy! Congratulations to the Price family!

Back to the Mort, Hoppy started out as a parody of the Marvel Family. When he spoke the magic name of Shazam, he gained the powers of the gods Salamander, Hogules, Antlers, Zebreus, Abalone, Monkury (yep, ladies and gentlemen, them's animal puns). With time, Hoppy was moved into the proper Captain Marvel Earth, which would eventually become the proper DC Comics Earth post-Crisis on Infinite Earths. Time will tell, one supposes, whether or not Hoppy exists in a post Infinite Crisis world.

Okay, new Morts are up. This one will stretch you, I think, but they have recently become stars of their own monthly comic. Good luck!

Easter Bunny Mort

2007-04-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

Walter Kovacs was Rorshach in the fictional Watchmen universe, a dystopian future where America won the Super Hero arms race, Nixon repealed the 22nd amendment and won his fifth Presidential term, and the world moves ever closer to Nuclear Holocaust. The passage of the Keene Act, which required all Super Heroes to register with the government (yeah, DC thought of it first), has made the streets a dangerous place for the common American civilian. Rorshach is the one hero who chose Captain America's side. He's also a paranoid psychotic with homicidal tendencies. As Randy and I discussed in the comments, Watchmen isn't for everybody, but it's not as bad as you would guess and certainly worth an attempted reading if you get the chance.

Just in time for an Easter, I have this latest Mort. Enjoy.

Who Watches this Mort?

2007-04-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

Bob Jones IV was a mild mannered employee of a savings and loan when his boss, who was secretly evil, performed genetic experiments on him to turn him into Captain Rectitude. The good Captain had super strength, speed and durability, as well as the ability to project "destructive plasma blasts" from his heart shaped chest emblem (How's that for a "Care Bear Stare"). Most ironically, the genetic testing, "replaced his normal biological drives with a synthetic anti-smut instinct" which made him wage war against anything he thought was unwholesome. For those of you unaware, the Marvel Character She-Hulk spent most of the 80's in provacative "cheese-cake" style splash pages, so Captain Rectitude and Shulkie squared off a couple of times.

This week's mort is sadly not obscure at all and I'm betting several of you will know the answer right away. So, what do you see when I show you this picture:

This Mort is full of Heart

2007-03-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

Deathbolt was a flunky of the Ultra-Humanite, who performed nefarious experiments on him until his body became a living electrical battery. He is a mort in the truest sense of the word, as he has only been seen in a handful of appearances (most notably the aforementioned Crisis of Infinite Earths), and has seemingly dropped out of existence.

Alright, here is our new mort. He is Marvel, if that peaks Eric or Joanna's interest.

An Electrifying Mort

2007-03-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

Adrian Chase was the Vigilante in the mid 80's, the DC version of the popular Marvel anti-hero The Punisher (although, to be fair, Adrian spent most of his series demonstrating non-lethal tactics to subdue his opponents). Another difference between the Vigilante and the Punisher is that Adrian Chase constantly struggled with the morality of his violent tactics, a struggle that ultimately led to Chase committing suicide out of regret for his mistakes. So long story short, don't kill out of revenge or it will come back to bite you in the end.

Over my relaxing spring break, I reread Crisis on Infinite Earths, the first great maxi-series in comic book history, a series which features just about as many super-folk as you can fit into 200 pages. My new mort is one of the obscure characters from this series. Enjoy!

Mob Murdering Mort

2007-03-05T10:35:00.000-08:00

Sasquatch was a member of Alpha Flight, Marvel's premiere Canadian Super-Hero group. He's big and strong and, well, Orange. The first Alpha Flight series, which I've read a few random issues of, was quite good, but the more recent comedic take on the team was superb. I have the whole series (which was painfully short lived) if anyone is interested in borrowing it.

Today's Mort is a little bit of a test for Jennifer, as I spent most of Saturday customizing a figure of him (Possible pictures of this to come). So, baby, can you remember what I told you his name was? Sorry Joanna and Eric, but we are back in DC territory with this one. Oh, and before I'm asked, the Mort is the guy in Black holding the gun.

I could of had a V-Mort

2007-02-26T14:10:00.000-08:00

The picture above is not the next Mort (although it would be a fun game to see how many of these characters you can name). This is a promo picture from the next weekly comic from DC called Countdown. I'm not sure what it is, but I really love gigantic group shots that you can look at for hours trying to figure out who they are.

Last week's Mort (which Joanna was very nice not to spoil for everyone) is indeed Hellion, a member of the New Mutants. His real name is Julian Keller and he is a powerful telekinetic. The New X-Men is a pretty good read, by the way, although it has been a rough year for the team. You might want to pick up an issue now before there are no more members still alive.

Alright, here is the new Mort. Honestly, not a difficult one, so I expect a little detail on this one.

Bullet Proof Mort

2007-02-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

You were so close this last round! Our mort is indeed the girl that appeared in the House of M series who could remember life before Scarlet Witch did her thing. Post M-Day, she appears in the current X-Factor series, which is really quite good if you haven't given it a chance. Her gimmick nowadays is that she, "knows stuff" and is therefore able to help the team out. Her help usually takes the form of a Rube Goldberg-esque series of events that she sets in motion. For example, she might be seen casually tossing a wrench into the trash can. Later, another character won't be able to fix the leaky sink because of the missing wrench. Finally, an assassin will break in and attempt to kill a character, but will slip in a puddle formed by the leaky sink and be caught. So she is the behind the scenes difference maker.

Okay, new Mort is up, and Joanna could answer this one in her sleep. How about you?

Do you "know stuff" about this Mort?

2007-02-13T13:23:00.000-08:00

You were all right on the money last time. Squirrel Girl is a member of what was once known as the Great Lakes Avengers, and then GLX (they found out they were all mutants), and finally the Great Lakes Champions. She has heightened reflexes, a prehensile tail, and can communicate with squirrels. To answer Randy's question, it does not appear that the last power is like Wonder Woman's, but rather that she has learned the language of the squirrel. She has the mutant power to talk to squirrels in much the same way I have the mutant power to communicate with Germans.

Okay, yet another mutant this time around, in a faint hope that Joanna or even Eric will happily play along.

Nutty Mort

2007-02-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

Molly Hayes is, indeed one of the members of the Runaways (I'm so glad someone got my lame title hint), a surprisingly good read from Marvel. She is the youngest of the kids and has super strength and near invulnerabilty. Her major weakness is that after she uses her power she becomes very sleepy and must rest. The Runaways are not real keen on using super hero code names, but Molly has suggested that her name would be "Princess Powerful". Most of her teammates, however, call her "Bruiser".

Alright, the new mort is up, and it is another good one from Marvel. She's even a mutant, so Joanna can feel free to play.

Run Away! It's a Mort!

2007-02-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

The Mortastic Four from last post are as follows (from left to right):

Two Face: Former Gotham City DA Harvey Dent was burned by acid and became a nut who had dual-themed crimes.

Killer Moth: Cameron Van Cleer was a millionaire who became the "anti-Batman" with a Mothmobile, etc. He is notable as the first villian Batgirl fought.

Clayface II- Matt Hagen was one of a bunch of Bat villians who became made of clay and could reshape their bodies in any way they saw fit.

Gentleman Ghost- Jim Craddock is a mysterious villian with ghost like abilities. The running gag for the longest time was the heroes trying to determine if he was a super human pretending to be a ghost, or if he was an actual ghost eho for some reason felt the need to rob banks. Recent issues of JSA have apparently proven that the latter is the case.

Okay, new Mort is up. She is from the Marvel universe this time.

Mortastic Four

2007-01-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

Trigon is the father of Raven of the Teen Titans and an otherworldly demon with plans of interdimensional conquest. So, yeah, usual stuff. He fought the Titans early in their series, and the good guys just barely eeked a victory. He returns later in their run with one of my favorite story arcs of all time, which of course I would be happy to let you borrow. For the last twenty or so years, however, he has only appeared as a reanimated bag of bones and in a couple of episodes of the epilepsy-inducing Teen Titans Cartoon. How can a good character stay dead for so long?

Okay, I've got a special four for one. Who are these Bat Enemies?

Paternal Mort

2007-01-20T21:03:00.000-08:00

The Fallen Angel is, as her name implies, an angel that fell from grace when she took it upon herself to slay a man who killed one of her "charges". God punished her by sending her to earth, where she continues to protect humanity. I don't have the space or inclination here to explain every way in which her series rocked, but it is worth a read if you get a chance.

The new Mort is one of the most underused villians in comics history. He is the antagonist in one of my favorite story arcs. What can you tell me about this guy:

Scarlet Garbed Mort

2007-01-14T13:02:00.000-08:00

Tarantula (John Law) was a non super powered "mystery man" during World War II. He fought alongside the All Star Squadron using gimmicks such as suction cup boots and his athletic ability. As Randy correctly pointed out, he lived in the same building as Nightwing, but the building was burned down by one of Nightwing's enemies, and John Law tragically died in the blaze.

I really think that I have shown you this mort before, although I hardly think she qualifies as a mort, since she has stared in her own Eponymously titled series for the last couple of years. Either way, here you go. Since that picture is a little small (and because Joanna taught me how) here is a second picture of her in a less graceful moment.

Caught in the Web of the Mort

2007-01-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

Randy gets the prize for Dream Girl, a member of the Legion of Super Heroes who had precognitive powers (for the layperson, that means she could see the future). You'd think with that power that she could have kept herself from getting trapped in the weird contraption.

New Mort. By the way, it is really hard to photoshop a spider web design and have it look normal.

Mort in Distress

2007-01-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

Regan is right once again. Our previous Mort was the once and future Titan Jericho during the period when we discover he is not dead, but instead has been secretly possessing the body of his father Slade Wilson, better known as Deathstroke the Terminator. I don't want to spoil things for those of you waiting for the trade paperback of the Titans, but Jericho is back, which makes me happy. I have said before that he is my favorite comic book character behind Booster Gold and Ambush Bug. This leads me to an ancillary question. Who is your favorite super hero, and in a larger sense, what qualities make a hero one of your favorites? I'll respond to that question in my next post.

Okay, the new Mort should be an easy one (especially if you have the DC Encyclopedia), so I will expect you to tell me about her powers as well as giving me her name.

Mort Reborn!

2006-12-27T17:45:00.000-08:00

Magdalena, a character that appears from time to time in various top cow publications, is a descendant of Mary Magdalene, which apparently gives her the power to "see into the hearts of men, to show them the error of their ways and to redeem their sins." Huh, thought that was Jesus' job. Anyway, she carries the spear of destiny, the spear that pierced the side of Christ, with which she can hurt bad people. She works for the upper echelon of the Catholic Church, a group of cardinals called the Inquisition. Again, huh, I thought the Catholic Church would want to distance thenselves from that little moment in history. Anyway, Magdalena has become fairly popular for an indy character and will therefore reportedly have a movie coming out in 2008.

Okay, you've seen this mort before, but in a different form. Good luck!

HailMortys

2006-12-13T14:10:00.000-08:00

Elsa Bloodstone is one of a number of C-List Marvel characters appearing in the current Nextwave series, penned by Warren Ellis. She is a Monster Hunter (more Van Helsing than Buffy, though) who is following in her father's footsteps of killing off the evil that populates horror movies. Her powers come from the gem in her choker, which was a gift from her father. With it, she is seemingly immortal, has Super Strength, and is immune to all the bad things vampires can do. And she's British!

I'm quite confident that the latest Mort might cause some controversy, which I'm not necessarily going to try to avoid. Once you've made a guess, then you can criticize what she is wearing.

God save the Mort!

2006-12-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

The American Dream is Shannon Carter, an Olympic level athlete of an alternative universe who was inspired by Captain America and tries to follow his legacy. Despite was Regan says, she currently appears in the Avengers Next comic, which I pick up every week that it is out regardless of whether it is sold to anyone else.

It is my hope that by including more Marvel based Morts that the Marvel Zombies like Eric and Joanna may come over more to play. So, here is another one. And, she's British!

Star-Spangeled Mort

2006-11-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

'Mazing Man was one of a number of funny comic books coming out of DC in the late 80's (the most popular of which was Keith Giffen's take on the Justice League). 'Mazing Man was, in reality, Sigfried Horatio Hunch III, " benignly deranged little man in Queens, New York who dresses in a homemade costume and performs deeds like unclogging drains and watching out for local children," at least according to Wikipedia. I never read 'Mazing Man, but it seems like a humorous little book that I might give a try some day.

The new Mort is up, although her left boot is usually a little less pixelated in real life (I hate it when the only picture I can find has the characters name splashed across it). Have fun!

Dog Loving Mort

2006-11-07T12:53:00.000-08:00

Nekron is at least one of the incarnations of death found in the DC Universe. This is the one that most often feuds with the Green Lanterns (there is some mumbo-jumbo about his powers growing stronger if immortals like the Guardians of the Universe are killed). His power is the ubiquitous death touch and the apparent ability to bring people back to life. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the Halloween Countdown as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

The new Mort is about as far away from Halloween as you can get. For the record, he is the one with the punch bowl on his head and his underwear on the outside.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Ten

2006-10-31T14:03:00.000-08:00

Cain (who is almost always a normal sized person except for in the picture I found of him) is the caretaker of the House of Mystery in the DC universe. The House of Mystery title was one of a myriad of horror anthology tales that were popular in the 60's-80's (think Tales from the Crypt and the like). For his part, Cain never manifested any particular powers other than the ability to be creepy and lame simultaneously. His brother Abel was the keeper of the House of Secrets, the other main horror anthology comic put out by DC at the time. As the names imply, Cain often wished harm upon his brother Abel, and there was an apparent running gag of our Mort killing his brother in every issue of the House of Secrets series. In Comic book speak, that means that Abel had the power of reincarnation, since he constantly came back, but it says nothing about whether Cain was likewise gifted.

Okay, our final entry in the Halloween Countdown looks creepy, although I'm not quite sure he qualifies as a mort. Have a fun and safe holiday, everyone!

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Nine

2006-10-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

I am forced to admit that DC's character Jack O'Lantern is far more lame than the Marvel variety, but that also makes him far more worthy of an induction on my Mort Game blog. Now unfortunatly, I could not tell you to save my life which of the three Jack O'Lanterns is pictured below, but all of them were basically the same. They had a magic lantern given them by an Irish fairy that let them do things like fly and be able to speak clearly despite wearing a hood with no mouth hole cut into it. Jack O' Lantern was a member of the Global Guardians, although the current incarnation is a member of the UltraMarines.

The new mort is my favorite picture on the Halloween countdown, just because it is simultaneously goofy and creepy and a little psychedelic. It is not a difficult guess for the seasoned comic book fan, but it could be a good source for some creative poster to fabricate a humerous story (I'm looking at you, Regan). Oh, and apparently because it needs to be said, the mort is the big guy in green.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Eight

2006-10-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

Houngan was a Teen Titans villian who became facinated with Voodoo when his dying father was saved by a Haitian witch doctor. Houngan combined what he learned about voodoo with his aptitude for computer technology to become a techno-voodoo priest and a constant thorn in the side of the Titans.

The New Mort may not look very Halloweeny (except for the purple and green motif), but I assure you he is.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Seven

2006-10-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

Randy was right on the nose with this one. Our last mort was the ghost of Jeb Stuart, the force that made the Haunted Tank haunted. Despite Randy's correct response, I am a little disappointed that it didn't come with a Jericho quote. According to Wikipedia, the ghost of Jeb Stuart was sent by the ghost of Alexander the Great to be a guardian of Stuart's namesake, Lieutenant Jeb Stuart Smith, a soldier in WWII. Why a proud civil war era Southerner would help the Union's efforts to beat up Nazi's is not so clear.

I decided this weeks mort ought to be a Teen Titan villian (my favorite kind). Although he was never seen in a Halloween related comic, he certainly looks like he could have been. Enjoy!

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Six

2006-10-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

Unlike previous morts, I can completely believe that none of you knew my last candidate. He is Halloween Man. What, you've never heard of him? I hadn't either until I attended Wizard World Texas four years ago. It turns out the creator (whose name I have long since forgotten, but you can read the work here) is a local boy. I got to meet the author of Halloween Man and even have him sign the obviously self produced comic book I bought from him. The story itself was, well, unique, but not altogether bad.

Okay, to make up for the toughie, I will give you what I consider to be an easy one. Don't prove me wrong.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Five

2006-10-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

As was correctly guessed, our most recent mort is indeed Man-Thing, Marvel's less competent version of Swamp Thing. The picture is from the made for Sci-Fi movie by the same name, which may have been the worst movie I've ever seen, and is certainly the worst comic book movie I've ever seen. I'm usually not a detail oriented movie goer, but the producers saved money by hiring locals in Australia, so the characters often switch from their wretched Louisiana accents into surprisingly more wretched Australian accents without rhyme or reason. That, and the plot appears to be a superfluous part of the film.

I decided todays mort should be a head scratcher. Do your best and enjoy.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Four

2006-10-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that none of you knew this last Mort, who is currently a feature player in the Teen Titans. This is Eddie Bloomberg, also known as Kid Devil. Just like his mentor the Blue Devil, before Eddy was a real demon, he was just a kid in a Devil suit. His powers were mechanical in nature, mostly derived from his suit which gave him strength and agility. He also possessed a Rocket Trident, that could propel him through the air several miles. How Eddy was tranformed from the cute trick-or-treater you see below to a gasoline-blooded demon has not yet been explored.

Okay, the new mort is cheating a little, but it dove-tails so well with my movie discussion on the main blog. I assure you that it is a Comic Book character that you would associate with all of the dark and mysterious things that go along with Halloween.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Three

2006-10-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I may suck a little. The Mort from last week is named "Mister E". You know, like "Mystery". It's a pun. According to Wikipedia, Mister E was one of a dozen or so "supernatural detectives" that DC has had in its illustrious history (think Dr. Occult, John Constantine, etc.). He tended to fight the traditional villianary of the horror genre, such as Vampires, Werewolves, and the like. Most often, he used supernatural weapons (silver bullets, mystic orbs, etc.), but there were always hints that he also possessed abilities, most notably the ability to "see" the good or evil in people (which was ironic because he was blind). Wikipedia also explains that Vertigo, as it often does with these types of characters, took him and washed away his silver age goodness and made him a freaky and unreadable.

Now the part where I suck. Although the picture clearly labels the mort as Mister E (I covered over that part, but I promise it said that), I can't find anywhere where this character appears in that outfit. Worse yet, Mister E was blind, but this Mort appears to be able to see (why else would he have eye holes cut out of his mask). So, in short, my bad.

I'm sure I've got this new Mort right though, so enjoy.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number Two

2006-09-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

The Grim Ghost (at least the one pictured below) was a character from the Atlas comics company who was created in 1975. He wins the award for the Mortiest Mort I have featured, only appearing in 3 issues before not only the series but the whole company of Atlas was cancelled. The synopsis of his story was that he was a highwayman in Colonial America who was hanged and then became a mercenary for Satan, capturing evil souls and returning them to Hell. This seems to be almost its own archetype in comics, with the origins of Marvel's Ghost Rider, DC's Blue Devil, and McFarlane's Spawn all having origins that are similar in nature. None of those characters shared GG's keen fashion sense, however.

Halloween Mort Number Two is in a different vein. Have fun.

Halloween Countdown: Mort Number One

2006-09-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that none of you commented on the forced coincidence that the same day I posted about the TV show Jericho on the "Book of Phylemon" blog, that my mort was also named Jericho. Joseph Wilson was the son of Slade Wilson, the DC supervillian Deathstroke. As a result of the experimental drugs that gave Slade his powers, Joseph was born a mutant, possessing the powers to, well, possess people's bodies. Early in his youth, Joseph's vocal cords were cut by a mercenary opponent of Deathstroke, so Jericho was one of the first "handicapable" heroes in the DC universe. I could right a whole blog on how cool this mort is, but it will wait.

Okay, my first Halloween Mort is the scariest one I could find, not because of his powers or gruesome visage, but because of his ambiguous sexual connotation (at least based off of this picture).

Welcome to the new home of the Mort Game

2006-04-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of myself and Jennifer, my wife. The picture is a little old, but what are you going to do about it? Anyway, this will be the new home of the mort game. Enjoy!